I first wrote a version of this article two years ago, during a much simpler time. The central theme of that article was my observing the strong correlation between the onset of “spooky szn,” and the aggressive horniness afflicting young people on the internet (resulting in thinly-veiled pleas for sex on October 31 under the guise of the Halloween costume). I remember reading tweet after angsty tweet of Gen Z kids begging for someone to gift them spooky baskets (??), jaunt through pumpkin patches with them, and ride them in reverse while watching House of 1000 Corpses. And I can…

Bailey Bowers

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