Five Things I Learned While Binge Watching Game of Thrones

Oh my God, I’m so tired. I haven’t slept well in weeks, I seem to be perpetually on the brink of a panic attack, and I’ve reached a level of existential dread I had not previously thought was possible. But hey… I’M CAUGHT UP ON GAME OF THRONES!!! I know, I know; I did this to myself, by not watching the first seven seasons as they came out. Kindly bite me. What matters now is that we are all here, and the final season is just around the corner. In celebration, I’ve compiled a few of my takeaways so far — the great questions and trepidations that I hope to unearth further, beginning this Sunday. Basically, my mental health is going to have to wait. The night is dark and full of terrors, winter is coming, etc… There is television to be watched, and we simply don’t have time for those sort of real-life dilemmas. Here we go:

(Note: this whole thing is a spoiler if you are not caught up; you have been warned)

Khaleesi Owes Her Entire Empire to Sex Education

I Need Jaime to Stop Banging His Sister

Hodor’s Namesake is Absurd

I Am Satisfied With the Current Death Toll

We Are Fucked

Other questions I have:

  • Who do we have to speak to about a prequel season? I need to see Aerys descend into the Mad King, the Rhaegar/Elia/Lyanna situation play out, Robert’s Rebellion, the Battle of Trident, Tywin’s Sack on King’s Landing, etc.
  • How hard is it to be a brothel extra in Game of Thrones? Is it prestigious, or do you think anyone willing to show tit can do it? Asking for a friend.

If you liked this article, follow me on Twitter @baythehuman and Instagram @baileyrbowers for more unfounded advice and opinions.

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